Hey there Reader,

We all hear voices in our head.

Some of them we're conscious of, others not.

That doesn’t mean we are “crazy”, whatever that means.

When I first started paying attention to my inner voices, it struck me how many of them there were there. Some more active than others, some more persistent, some more bold.

Each one with its own hues, range, and intonations. Each one telling a story.

Time and will have helped me map them out. Put some at ease, others to rest. Some voices have evolved with me, some faded away.

Weeding out thoughts from the tapestry of the mind can be liberating and illuminating. I highly recommend it. It’s a practice that can yield many a glorious landscapes and fireworks.

You might not be crazy for hearing these voices, but some of them can drive you there.

And the inner, most slippery, most mindfuckery-voice is the one that relates to guilt; the voice that labels everything as “Your fault” with harsh, unforgiving, neon wrath.

“What kind of guilty are you?”

There are many kinds of guilty we could go into.

For speaking too much, or too little, or just your mind,

for acting or remaining still,

for winning, losing, or anything in between,

hurting someone, hurting yourself, admitting indifference,

asking for what you need, or “for it”, or not asking at all,

pleasing others, forgetting yourself,

charging too little, earning too much,

being sick, feeling ugly, tired, not enough, thirsty, or angry.

The list goes on.

Guilt, as it pertains to the inner voice that tells us we’re in the wrong, is inherited through various channels. It’s useful to detach each one and see where it comes from – family, school, friends, society, culture, religion, politics, ecology, activism, ideology…

However, when it comes to guilt, there’s nothing that compares to the guilt we’ve absorbed from our mother.

Even if you’ve never met yours, your time in her belly is more than enough - it prepares you for a lifetime imbued with her own unique flavour of "guiltyness".

Guilt coming from mother is so intrinsic it goes unnoticed.

It is so engrained that even advanced players have trouble detecting and dealing with it.

A way into this inquiry is right in front of our faces - in any kind of encounter with other people that's creating friction.

Here are some questions that have helped me immensely in the past:

Who am I struggling with currently?

What am I telling myself about them? i.e. What is the story that’s running through my head when I think about them?

What hurts when I think that thought?

What am I afraid will happen?

Where in that story is my link to my own mother? i.e. How is the story about that other person similar to the story I have about my mother?

How is the story keeping me safe?

What tools do I have to flip the story? Do I talk/write it out, go to a therapist or healer, dance it through, swim, meditate, sleep?

How do I want to feel instead?

What story do I choose to make that feeling a reality?

The stories we tell ourselves about our mother influence how we interact with the world.

Unravel this, and see your world shift.

If you are in a position caring for, leading or supporting other people, this might interest you.

I'm creating a program on mother’s guilt - how it affects our reality, and our ability to move through life and relationships.

It's a series of excavations that pertain to the guilt implants from within the womb, the safety patterns they’ve installed, and how to sift through and beyond them.

Not because you mother's to blame for where you are in life.

But because your mother’s story is not your story.

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the meetings I'm planning.

More updates soon.

Best,

Elena

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